Category: Despair (my relationship with a Narcissist)

My Relationship with a Narcissist – Our Story Part 1

We both work in management in the pharmaceutical industry.  My workplace is quite stressful and we quickly became best friends within weeks of her joining the company where I work.  Working in stressful conditions upwards of 12 hours per day often pushes people together – the shared stress can concrete a friendship quickly.

We spent many hours working each day and an hour or two talking late at night in the office – venting to each other about the demanding work conditions.  Because these types of situations often happen in stressful conditions, I suspected nothing when we were drawn to each other and became best friends nearly overnight.

Eventually the project that we were working on together required fewer hours of our time, and the 12-16 hour days shortened.  Even though it was no longer necessary, we continued staying at the office for 12 hours a day or longer.  We would work all day and when the other employees left the office (usually around 4pm), we would hang out talking in one of our offices.  After a few weeks of this, we started leaving the office earlier and going to the local business hotel that also housed a restaurant/bar.  We would have drinks and just talk for hours.  I felt such a connection with her.  I had never felt so close to anyone before.  She just…. “got” me.

Learning about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) – an Awakening

I’ve only recently realized that I am involved in a narcissistic relationship. I had no idea what a narcissist was until recently. I always just thought they were people who were especially “full of themselves” and often treated others in a demeaning manner. I guess I never really took the time to think about what a diagnosis of narcissism would be or that Narcissistic Personality Disorder existed. I work in an industry that is riddled with people who are egocentric, so the seriousness of dealing with a person who is truly a narcissist never crossed my mind.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Definition

By Mayo Clinic Staff

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism…..
(Some) Symptoms
By Mayo Clinic Staff

…If you have narcissistic personality disorder, you may come across as conceited, boastful or pretentious. You often monopolize conversations. You may belittle or look down on people you perceive as inferior. You may feel a sense of entitlement — and when you don’t receive special treatment, you may become impatient or angry. You may insist on having “the best” of everything — for instance, the best car, athletic club or medical care.

At the same time, you have trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism. You may have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation. To feel better, you may react with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make yourself appear superior. Or you may feel depressed and moody because you fall short of perfection…

 

In subsequent posts I will depict my journey of falling in love with a narcissist.  There have been the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.  I am hoping that my blogging about my experience I can start on the road to healing.